[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
The Alpha Beta's LiveJournal:
| Thursday, January 22nd, 2009 | |
| 4:46 pm | Yes, I'm still here... After several months of not posting I feel I really should post to say hi. I'm still here and things are going okay; not great but not bad considering. There are some thoughts and things I plan on posting, I hope, but at this time I'm not going to say how soon as I always miss my timelines. I hope everyone had a great holiday season and are doing well. If nothing else the shrub is out of office and the country has a chance to get back on track. I'm hopeful, but I'm also waiting to see what happens. Obama has done many good things so far in a very short amount of time, but there are some things I still shake my head about. It is still early yet... I hope to post again soon. -Robert Current Mood:  contemplative |
| Sunday, September 14th, 2008 | |
| 6:07 pm | Just A Quick Update Just posting to let people know that I'm still around and okay. Just been a bit busy as of late. Since I think I have come to the realization I don't post much, I'm going to try and make a new effort to at least post once every couple of weeks and say hi. Hope all of you are doing well. -Robert Current Mood:  blank |
| Thursday, May 15th, 2008 | |
| 10:16 am | Same Sex Marriage Ban Overturned In CA Yeah! Still have to wait for the parsing of the ruling, but the ban has been overturned. I'm happy and sad at the same time as I wish Jen was here to see it. -Robert (added at 6:45PM): Just read through some of the details and saw that the court also classified the ban (and the distinction therein) in this manner: "the statutes in question properly must be understood as classifying or discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation, a characteristic that we conclude represents — like gender, race, and religion —a constitutionally suspect basis upon which to impose differential treatment". If I read this right (and from other commentary) this raises the issue to a much high level of scrutiny (suspect classification). Does anyone out there know if this reading is correct? Current Mood:  confused |
| Thursday, April 24th, 2008 | |
| 3:49 pm | Interesting Development Well, I knew it was only a matter of time before one of the main feminist blogs got ahold of the whole OSBP debacle...Pandagon has a main story about it. I'm sure others will follow. Current Mood:  infuriated |
| Thursday, April 3rd, 2008 | |
| 7:58 pm | Just a Quick Update... Sorry I have not posted much lately, I've been in a weird place. Not bad per say, but not very helpful in the whole posting thing. Current Mood:  indescribable |
| Thursday, January 24th, 2008 | |
| 6:42 pm | Still Here Just a brief update to let everyone know I'm still here and okay. Current Mood: blank |
| Saturday, December 29th, 2007 | |
| 4:14 pm | Quick Update Wanted to make a quick post and let everyone know that I'm still around and as okay as I can be during this time of year, it being my first one without Jennifer in a long, long time. Hope everyone had a good Christmas. I will try to post more later one. -Robert Current Mood:  nostalgic |
| Thursday, December 6th, 2007 | |
| 8:33 pm | 09-06-07 12-06-07 I'm now banning all the 6ths of each month that are divisible by 3. Jen died on 09-06-07. Today is 90 days since then. Today was also the day I heard what the mass was that they removed from my little black furry loved one Washu - cancer. Sarcoma, the same type that killed my other little one, Lucy. It may or may have not spread. There are two options: wait and see if another one shows up or go ahead and give her radiation treatments and then go after any remnants. I have to wait at least 10 days (or until her original incision heals) before anything can be done. Lots of time to figure out which option has the best chance of keeping Washu alive. I hope it's not in multiple places like with Lucy. I don't want to have another death in my family. She seems normal now, but I swear if she dies on or around the same time Lucy did I'm going to lose it. Three in one year would be too much. Already this is too much. I have some distractions this weekend...but I can't go through this again. Lucy was hard enough with Jen. Now I don't have her either. Feh. -Robert Current Mood:  scared |
| Tuesday, November 13th, 2007 | |
| 8:03 pm | Rough Day Today was a very stressful day. It wasn't any one thing, but a piling on of stuff and emotions. I'm so used to Jen being there to help me get through the rough patches. Now she is gone and I feel so tiny and alone. Current Mood:  depressed |
| Monday, November 12th, 2007 | |
| 10:50 pm | Minor Housekeeping... Since it was about two or three weeks ago that I said I would make some icons of my own, I guess it's about time I actually make one. Stress the "one". A few people on my flist will recognize where the image comes from; I'm not sure why I wanted to use an image of my current favorite psychopath (is that the right medical term?), but if nothing else I thought it was a cool image of Revi. One other thing that I will be changing is the e-mail I use. While I didn't really think about it, a friendly voice mentioned it does seem to be odd to still get e-mails from Jen's yahoo account. And no, this was not a voice in my head... ;-) Therefore I will start using the following e-mail address: urdsama00@yahoo.com I will still keep checking Jen's old account, but I will stop responding from that one and port any new e-mails over to mine. Sorry if my use of Jen's e-mail account freaked anyone out. -Robert Current Mood:  blah |
| Saturday, November 10th, 2007 | |
| 10:40 pm | Week Nine Passes... Last Thursday was the ninth week since Jen died. I've been fairly busy so the last week was not as bad as most of them have been, but I'm not sure if it was because I've gotten better/stronger or just because I was busy. Some of it was basic non-fun stuff that had to be dealt with and some of it was meeting new people like ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} ravenslost which was fun and widens the circle of people I can turn to (and take some of the load off of plantgirl).I' not depressed right now but very sad...it's raining and this is exactly the kind of weather Jen loved. I'm also sad because some of the stuff I've been working on was setting up some new electronic toys (as a bribe to myself for staying at my current job until the end of the year) which Jen would never have asked for but would have loved, if for no other reason to see some of her favorite shows in really good quality. Also, I think she would have liked ravenslost - it makes me sad that she never got to meet her.But I am also troubled by how I'm going to pay back those that have helped me survive this. I know I'm not through it yet...but if not for the people who have helped me so far I don't think I would be here today. I'm fairly sure I would have done away with myself. What bothers me further is with a few exceptions, most of these people were Jen's friends. I know they don't expect me to "pay them back"; that's not why they did it. But I also take friendships very seriously and I just feel like I'm not being a good friend. How do you pay people back for saving you life? In many ways this just shows how lost I am with Jen gone. She was my anchor and kept me rooted. In some ways the past nine weeks don't seem real. Sigh. -Robert Current Mood:  weird |
| Monday, November 5th, 2007 | |
| 7:19 pm | Odd Question of the Month... Maybe I'll start this as a monthly thing: Ask an odd question every month. I am in a strange mood; at any rate, here is my question: should I think about attending the next BASCon or Escapade? While I've done cons before and I'm familiar with the concept, I have very little, if any, knowledge of what most of the cons will be about. It seems like going would be fun, but I'm not sure if it is good idea or not. Any advice or suggestions? -Robert Current Mood:  curious |
| Thursday, October 25th, 2007 | |
| 7:45 pm | Task for the Next Few Weeks... Leave it to my messed up mind to think of things like this: Current Mood: depressed |
| Sunday, October 21st, 2007 | |
| 1:38 pm | And Now for SOmething Completely Different... It's pelican day outside my windows... Three or four pelicans have shown up at the lagoon near my apartment and have decided to do some fishing. Although, as I write this they seem to be resting and not doing much...oh, spoke to soon, some just took off to dive bomb some fish. -Robert Current Mood:  amused |
| Wednesday, October 10th, 2007 | |
| 6:53 pm | Thank You... I just wanted to post a quick thank you to all of those who have been supportive of me over the past several weeks. Right now I'm not really in a good place to reply to those of you who post and thank you directly, as well as those that are "watching" over my posts, so this will have to do as a "thank you". I'm not posting this because anyone has complained or because I am going anywhere or going to do anything; but more because I don't want to take for granted or forget the support people have shown me. Also, after the recent collapse of a 10 year plus friendship I'm feeling hyper-sensitive about these type of matters. Another issue that I am dealing with... -Robert Current Mood: blank |
| Thursday, October 4th, 2007 | |
| 8:22 pm | Updated Default Pic Time... In an effort to get my mind somewhat distracted I modified Jen's default image based on something I had said in one of my comments today. If you look carefully you will notice that there is a face staring out from behind the beads. -Robert
Current Mood:  lonely |
| 2:46 pm | One Month Ago... It's been one month and not quite 10 hours since Jen passed away. I feel no better than I did when it happened, and maybe a little worse. Work fails to distract me in any useful way. By early afternoon I have no desire to work, I just feel dead inside. I'm so tired of this routine after just a week. Sigh. -Robert Current Mood:  exhausted |
| Thursday, September 27th, 2007 | |
| 4:47 pm | First Day Back at Work...And I HATE It. Well, if today is any indicator of how the next few days go, fuck working for a while. I'm not able to distract myself with the tasks I'm doing (because a large % of them I disagree with, had no real input on or find very boring). Any options of moving to another part of the company that might be closer to home have also been nixed. Finally, I was doing some tasks today that in the past would have made me nervous because of the amount of people that would have been affected...but I didn't even blink. I really didn't care one way or the other. I'll give it a few more days and see if things "even out", but I'm not hopeful. -Robert Current Mood: depressed |
| Monday, September 24th, 2007 | |
| 8:15 pm | Thank You All for the Support I just wanted to post a quick entry thanking all of those who are Jen's LJ friends for your thoughts and sympathies during this time. I know all of you are going through your own issues of loss and shock over Jen being gone and I appreciate that you are also reaching out to me as well. I hope once I'm in a better mind space I can get to know each one of you better and perhaps be friends with you myself. For those of you have friended me over the past few weeks, I have not forgotten about you I just have not been in the best mental shape to friend back. I know most of the posts are not terribly fun to read, and even less so for those who are on Jen's friend list. I hope in time that will change, but I don't know when. Thanks to all of you for keeping Jen's memory in your hearts and for your support of me, someone that most of you know only via Jen's posts. -Robert Current Mood:  drained |
| Friday, September 21st, 2007 | |
| 3:17 pm | Still No Info From the Coroner I was hoping, but not expecting, that there would be a cause of death as it has been two weeks. I called but they had no news yet, but I now learned that the toxicology tests being run was "fairly standard". So now I'm back to wondering if her recent surgery played a role. If so, I'm don't know what I'm going to do. I'm not going to go there because I don't know yet...but if it does turn out that way the guilt is going to be be immense. I'm glad plantgirl will be staying with me this weekend. -Robert Current Mood: distressed |